As we approach the New Year, we are deep into our preparations- preparations of both heart and mind. And one looming issue for many is that the arrival of a new year also signals another year older. Perhaps Disraeli captured the attitude of so many of us toward our aging when he wrote:

We express our fear, or repress our fear of aging in so many ways. Some simply adopt a policy of denial and insist on ignoring all talk or recognition of birthdays! Others head off with determined regularity to the plastic surgeon for cosmetic snips and tucks. Still others hang out with only younger folks hoping to fit in, or they dress in styles many years younger (and hemlines shorter!) than their years.

Writers for many centuries have tended to characterize old age as a time of unmitigated misery, dependence, bitterness, incapacity and lonliness. The psalmist, in psalm 71, raises his voice in this earnest prayer, which is incorporated into the traditional High Holy Day prayers for Yom Kippur afternoon:

All of this is undeniable. It is true that old age is not for sissies! Yet, as they say, we must consider the alternative. I spend too much time in cemeteries, and I have yet to see in any one of them so much as a single cocktail party. So it seems to me that, at whatever age we find ourselves, as another Rosh HaShanah approaches, we best clarify and improve our understanding and attitude toward our aging. And, incidently, as with every other chapter in the human life span, a little humor goes a very long way!

One of you sent me an e-mail article titled:

"Old is when ..." and it reads:

1. Your sweetie says, ‘Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, ‘Honey, I can't do both!'

2. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

3. When going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

4. ‘Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. And when ‘getting a little action' means I don't need to take fiber today.

And those of us who are wise enough (and yea, I'll admit it, brave enough) to cherish their growing older are the ones whose years have also brought them to some very important realizations- realizations which our Judaism has underscored and taught for many, many centuries. And the first is this:

"Teach us to number our days"- every day has something new to teach, whether you are a 16-year old with hormones raging or a 76 year-old on artificial hormones.

The Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chasidism commenting on a verse from Genesis which describes:

Abraham when he was old as being "full of days."

What this means, says the Baal Shem, is that Abraham kept a little piece of every day with him. Every day brings with it an insight, a learning opportunity, even a little revelation, by which we slowly make our way in the world, a little wiser, a little bit more experienced and insightful.

Every day of our lives, if we live them knowingly, can bring us to those wonderous "aha" moments. But human nature being what it is, we become blind and jaded to life's beauty and melody which was once so world-altering.

Abraham's special gift, however, was to keep such moments ever fresh within him - to keep the living, revelatory essence of each day a part of his expanding consciousness.

Those who are wise, who will celebrate their years, are those lucky ones among us who cherish and embrace their days!

The second observation is closely akin to the first. We must grow to an awareness that life is ours to celebrate even on a cloudy or stormy day. How does Hamilton Jordan, President Carter's former press secretary and now a man fighting cancer, title his new book?

A fellow wrote recently of an 87 year old woman whom he met in class. She was taking university credits toward finishing her long-sought degree. Here is how he described her and here is what he learned from her.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' ....

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. ...We invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. ... She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her 3 x 5 cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she ... said ‘I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent .... let me just tell you what I know.' As we laughed she cleared her throat and began:

‘We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor in every day. You have got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. ...

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old. If I am 87 years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn 88. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.

Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets ....'

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over 2,000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

So Rose and so many with glorious spirits like hers, live lives which reinforce the poet's words:

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals ... You are as young as your faith, and as old as your doubt. You are as young as your self-confidence, and as old as your fears. You are as young as your hope, and as old as your despair. In the central place of your heart, there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage- so long you are young.

But when the wires are all down, and the heart is covered with the snow of pessimism, and the ice of cynicism, then- and only then- are you grown old.

There is just one more observation I want to make on this matter of celebrating our aging without growing old. But first, I want you to remember that some of us who are in our youth are truly foolish idiots, or are ill-tempered, or mean-spirited middle-agers, who only grow older to remain the same pathetic characters. Some of us pride ourselves on never changing, and in return, become only stunted aberrations of what loving and great spirits God dreamt us to become. And that's such a waste, isn't it? Some would even label that beyond folly, and amounting to sin.

Here's the third thing: the older we grow, the less we ought to worry about differences between ourselves and others. In youth, we are consumed and utterly haunted by how we compare to the "other" person: in height or weight, physical beauty and strength, how high on our SAT scores or what honor roll we made, how much they earn, how big their house, which brand of car we drive, or whether she was a debutante or he made it to the top.

But the older we grow, if we do so with understanding, most such artificialities and trivialities are washed away. We come to embrace the other as a fellow traveler- as pilgrims along the way, and finally, come to see it all so clearly: it's the journey, not the arrival, that counts.

As Maya Angelou puts it in her wonderful poem, "Human Family":

I've sailed upon the Seven Seas
And stopped in every land;
I've seen the wonders of the world,
Not yet one ‘common' man.

We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major, we're the same.

I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type.
But we are more alike, my friends,
Then we are unalike.

Wherever life finds you as this new year beckons, enter the future with all of the enthusiasm, the hope, the determination, and the faith that you can muster. Life is a drama, not a process. So let us play our role to the very best of our ability. And with reverent celebration embrace each year as a gift.